But always he had a sense of dissatisfaction with himself. But one effort, he had kept, because Laura had so loved it.The Great Bear, sometimes called the Plough, pointing to a bright north star.“My guiding light,” Laura had said, “like you’ve been with me.” Then she added with genuine admiration, “You’ve made it appear that it is a finger pointing to heaven.”“Thank you. That is what I was trying for. To a heaven that is veiled by a trillion, brilliant stars.”Her response to his work had always lifted him.Now, most of his work brought back a panoply of memories related to Laura. But memory inevitably took him back to that circumstance when, as a young man, for a while, he had been unable to distinguish a dream from reality. No problem recalling that.He had been twenty years old and should have still been attending university. But, having already sold two or three of his paintings, a lucrative career lay ahead of him. When he announced his intention to drop out, his tutors were. Ek din shama ki ammi ko telegram aya ki..’mother serious. Come at once’ (there was no internet, no cell phones in those days. Landline phones too were in selected homes) apne ammi ki bimari ki khabar sun kar shama ki ammi ghabra gayi aur mujhse boli ‘beta mujhe tu bus me bitha de, mai chali jaungi aur tum shama ka khayal rakhna, mujhe lautne me 3-4 din lagenge’ maine kaha aunti ji aap bilkul chinta mat karo aap to befikr ho ke jao shama ko mai sambhal lunga. Aur fir mai shama ki ammi ko bus me baitha aya aur sidhi shama ke pas aya aur use paglo ki tarah chumne laga. ‘Nahi nahi’ vo boli ‘ab rat hone wali hai tum apne ghar jao, kal mujhe tution pada dena’ maine kaha thik hai aur mai vapas aa gaya. Next day mai din me karib 2 baje shama ke ghar gaya, us din vo bhi saj sanwar kar taiyar thi, maine use apne baho me qaid kar liya aur use chumna chatne laga. Vo sharma rahi thi…’shammo rani kuchh to bolo na’ maine kaha. ‘Mai kya bolu, ye aap galat kar rahe ho, plz man jao, ammi ghar pe nahi.
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